Why did the Ancient Roman Empire REALLY Fall?? By Doctor Jonathan Swift DM

Why did the Ancient Roman Empire REALLY Fall??

By Doctor Jonathan Swift DM

Is it not Obvious!

They constantly spoke Latin as their everyday language!

You try running a society were even casually asking your mum if she wants you to pop down the shops for anything, makes magic hell demon rising crap happen!

The Roman empire fell largely due to bankruptcy!

Because of the constant civic and private repair cost of fixing damage to property and life every time a few people got together for drinks and gossip!

Even at funerals, they had to pay someone to stand by with an axe in case someone casually asking the time makes the dead person sit up with glowing red eyes!

Why did Nero play the fiddle as Rome burned?

Well for a starter it was probably burning in the first place because someone dared to make a Birthday or a Wedding Speach!

What the hell was Nero supposed to do?

Shout for help?

Or give leadership directions to solve and handle the tragedy?

To his city guard in Classical Latin?!

Are you serious?!

By that point, he might have been the one person to be smart enough to keep his mouth shut in case it made things far worse!

Why did the “Barbarians” keep sacking Rome?

Because they wanted to stop the stupid people trying to constantly end the world all the time by absent-mindedly reading out their laundry list out loud!

Classical Latin is called a ‘Dead Language’ because every time you say the wrong thing some stupid Damned Dead thing pops its head up to say hello!

Classical Latin is the stupidest language ever created, for that very reason!

And Do Not Even get me started on the traditional Welsh Language and the Dark Fae it keeps accidentally sticking the world with!

All the global warming is really caused by the toxic gasses from the accidentally summoned Lepricorn's Farts!

( I Should NOT have to say the above is a spoof,

But then again we do live in a world that thinks “Pink Salt” Being sold as GMO-free an acceptable level of intelligence,

So before you write to your local politician trying to get Classical Latin and Traditional Welsh from your local School syllabus,

I hereby,

Just in case,

Feel compelled to point out the above is a SPOOF! AND NOT REAL! )



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